Tuesday, April 01, 2008

April 1st Trail Nerd News

Dick Ross (runner's photographer), being impressed with the recent "Bodies Revealed" collection on display at Union Station, has decided to use X-Ray cameras at the next Trail Nerds event.

Bad Ben put instant coffee in a microwave oven, and almost went back in time. He was quoted as saying, "my new race strategy almost worked...it may take some refinement. Expect great things from me, if I can just fix this darn Flux Capacitor."

Greg "LeCompton G" Burger has a new (successful) weight loss system. He shed 7 pounds, just by leaving one pocket of his Nathan pack empty on his last training run.

Dean Karnazes will attempt to break Kyle Amos' 100-Kilometer record at the upcoming Free State Trail Run in Lawrence, wearing only a jock strap, body paint, North Face shoes, and a toothy grin.

Results are in! And Chief Mud Babe, (Sophia Wharton-Spencer-AnchorWoman) has won the Bad Ben look-alike contest. (Winners were picked at random).

Scott Jurek is rumored to have spiked his vegan shake with Spirulina grown by European astro-scientists on the International Space Station. Supplement companies are scrambling to place wholesale orders for the $10 million per gram supplement.

The Trail Nerds have a new race sponsor, "Pricilla's." But will edible panties catch on as an aid station food?

Kevin Patrick Allen (of Endurance Planet fame) is being sued by Lucas Films LLC, for being a "Pod Racer."

Emily Horn reportedly loves the North Shore Trail in Lawrence, and may ask it to "go steady." She was quoted as saying, "I've never fallen for something so hard, since the Winter thaw."

Dr. Jesse Walden will be performing a "massage ultra" at two of our upcoming events. His hands have more miles on them than the Shuttle "Endeavor."

Bowing to criticism from Politically Correct Semanticists, the Trail Nerds will rename some of their events to have less-extreme sounding names. Expect next year's February event to be called the "Neuro Wyco, Walk Toto Walk."

Have a happy April Fools Day!
Bad Ben